4. Ru World Order (Season 9 Episode 10)A lot of people have been…

4. Ru World Order (Season 9 Episode 10)

A lot of people have been talking about Nina Bo’Nina Brown in relation to mental health this week. While I think it’s important to understand her struggles with depression, let’s not forget all of the greatness she brought us this year. Nina herself has taken her time on the show in stride and makes jokes about her paranoia. To think this all started with the mismanagement of Blac Chyna!

Anyway, since Nina’s exit has been riddled with negative attention, I decided to give her a final moment of humor. Nina would take her paranoia in jest – so so am I. Besides, who doesn’t want to learn Nina Bo’Nina Brown’s thoughts on conspiracy theories? It’s not everyday that you get an expert’s insight.

 Kimora Blac Helicopters. What’s nanobiotechnology?

Why ya’ll acting brand new? Bush did 9/11, and he’s also after Peppermint.

It feels like people are summoning me. Not saying my name per se but…

We love you Nina! Coming to the reunion in a tin foil hat would show everyone that you can truly overcome your inner saboteur…and everything else that you ingested from the chemtrails.  

-4 Funniest Moments From RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 Episode 10

2. The Mask of Truth (Season 9 Episode 9)Read my lips -…

2. The Mask of Truth (Season 9 Episode 9)

Read my lips – mmmhmhmhmhmmmmmtttmmmhmm.

Valentina’s choice to keep on her mask was as muddled as her speech. Whether it was because she didn’t know the words or she had just given up – Valentina’s questionable decision has led to a plethora of memes.

I’d like to keep it on, please. Years from now, Valentina will be known as the spokesperson for Trojans! Well, if anyone knows how to make Lemonade out of lemons, it’s Tyra Sanchez Valentina.

Between sheet masks, Halloween, and bank robbers – Val has inadvertently stumbled upon an entirely new market for her drag. And to that, I say – don’t take that thing out of your mouth.

-4 Funniest Moments From RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 Episode 9

3. Come Up With A Read That’s Better Than Hairless (Season 9…

3. Come Up With A Read That’s Better Than Hairless (Season 9 Episode 9)

Page 104 of The Psychology of Humour clearly defines this phenomenon, colloquially parsed as ‘irony’, as the literal use of sarcasm and other forms to aggressively poke fun at a situation. For instance – if I were to say that Detox is a neat lady, that would be ironic given that she is unquestionably a filthy whore.

Gosh, I really do love Sasha Velour. As the season goes on, Sasha has become more and more of an unintentionally funny character. Who knew that such a brainy queen would become the breakout star of season 9? Sasha Velour probably thought MaSc4MaSc meant searching for men with Masters of Science degrees.

Still, it is fun to have a girl with such a different point of view this year. So, Sasha wins another challenge with Shea. The two girls celebrate their victory until Ru announces the prizes – a sickening supply of hair care. Poor Sasha just can’t catch a break!

The best thing about her is that this is not the only time that Sasha’s gotten an ironic mention of her baldness.

Sasha is so well-read that even the back of her head contains braille!

-4 Funniest Moments From RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 Episode 9

Thoughts and Prayers

I normally like to use this platform as a comedic outlet, but this is no laughing matter. My heart and soul goes out to everyone affected by the Manchester attack tonight.

As gay people, we get to choose our family – losing any members of it is devastating. To have them be so young and innocent only exacerbates the heartache. This world makes it continuously harder to believe in good, but if anything (a joke, a shoulder to cry on) helps create a shimmer of hope, my arms and inbox are open.

3. If It Is Green, I’m Not Interested (Season 9 Episode 8)I guess Alexis Michelle had a point so…

3. If It Is Green, I’m Not Interested (Season 9 Episode 8)

I guess Alexis Michelle had a point so many weeks ago. She helped out every single girl with her fashions and yet this happens to her?

No good deed goes unpunished! When Elphaba emotionally cast a spell t become detached, she didn’t expect it to be this literal.

I understand that Alexis painted her skin green because it’s Michelle’s least favorite color, but it’s a pretty long way to go for a punchline. The last time someone was this dedicated to a joke, he got elected president.

Normally I wouldn’t make fun of Alexis Michelle’s body (teeth and occupations are apparently fair game though) but this is ridiculous not to mention. It looks like she went to the catering table and sliced a kiwi in half. Actually, scratch that – even New Zealanders don’t want to be associated with look.

On the bright side, at least Alexis found one good use of her witch hat.

When You’re A Hoe At A Halloween Party

-4 Funniest Moments From RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 Episode 8

4. Reading Rainbow (Season 9 Episode 8)In the grand tradition of Paris Is Burning, the library is…

4. Reading Rainbow (Season 9 Episode 8)

In the grand tradition of Paris Is Burning, the library is open! And in another grand tradition of Paris Is Burning, the stage is full of butch queens first time in drags at a ball.

Let’s start this roast off easy. No, really – Trinity Taylor is easy. The great thing about Trinity is that you can literally read her – each body part has a stamp that says “Made In Taiwan.” Speaking of foreign material – we have Valentina! She’s beautiful, she’s funny, she’s proud of her Mexican heritage. I actually bad for the queen who eliminates her. You need to get a Visa to fuck her!

It’s unfortunate that Shea has been getting this fan reaction recently. It’ll be even worse if it’s true! She expressed interest in plastic surgery before – if Shea actually wanted to get a facelift, she would need to book two doctors! Speaking of many faces, we have the clever makeup artist Nina! I feel the need to call in a bomb threat everytime I see Nina Bo’nina Osama Bin Laden Brown. I don’t know if it’s because of her name or her performance during last week’s challenge.

Farrah Moan, last week it was so inspiring to see a video from the one person who’s helped shape your career to what it is today. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Tom from Myspace! Since we’re on the topic of outdated, here’s Peppermint! They call you a legend in New York City and that’s pretty accurate. Your talent is definitely an urban legend.

Alexis Michelle’s entire performance this week was extraterrestrial. Her skin looks like an alien and her hair looks like a crop circle. Now from balding to bald – we have Sasha Velour! Sasha always talk about being smart, being a Fulbright scholar. It’s not secret that Sasha reminds me of my college textbooks; not worth the price.

-4 Funniest Moments From RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 Episode 8

1. How’s Your Head Game? (Season 9 Episode 7)I love Trinity…

1. How’s Your Head Game? (Season 9 Episode 7)

I love Trinity Taylor. There, I said it. After winning another challenge, I can safely say that Trinity is a triple threat – she can dance, she can act, she can tuck. Trinity is honestly the total package.

But what really tickles my fancy about Trinity is that she is the epitome of a pageant girl. She always has her eye on the crown – even if there’s a bomb in it. Pageant queens have been known to play mind games and Trinity is no different. Survivor fans are sure to get a kick out this one:

You see, on the fifth season, there was a girl named Heidi Strobel. She has it all – brains, brawn, beauty, backrolls.

Certified Genius

The only issue with Heidi is that no one had a higher view of herself than she did. She was the Shannel of Survivor – but instead of 39 character illusions, it’s 39 days of the game.

Anyway, during the Jury questioning of the finalists, Heidi gives a very…interesting question. She wants them to say she’s the best player of the season, they know she wants them to say she’s the best player of the season, but that’s not what happens. And not being appreciated really…ahem…deflates Heidi.

So now back to Trinity Taylor. During this week’s Untucked, the girls brought up the issue of competition. Trinity proudly states that she sees two girls as threats – one of whom is sitting right next to her, and Shea.

As soon as those words come out of Trinity’s mouth, Valentina’s ears perk up. Like a bloodhound with the scent of stoning tights blood, Valentina is ready to accept herself as one of the biggest threats in this competition.

Now this is where Trinity’s pageant expertise comes in. This is why there’s such an astigmatism with pageant queens – they love to play with your mind. Trinity was probably gonna say Valentina, but she knows that Valentina wants to hear her name, so she says Alexis instead.

And then Valentina Strobel deflates. Because she thinks that she’s beautiful, she’s perfect, she’s a model. So when Trinity doesn’t acknowledge it…Valentina is shook.This is how you do it, ladies; this is how you detonate a (blonde) bombshell – take notes Sasha Belle!

-4 Funniest Moments From RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 Episode 7