2. Farrah’s Moans (Season 9 Episode 8)
In case you missed the Kids section at DragCon! No really – I love Farrah and the youthful energy she brought to the show. She is also the first blonde twink that RuPaul hasn’t blocked on twitter so you know Farrah is breaking stereotypes.
Now, I don’t normally advertise queens on here (that’s u/Broosh’s job) but I would like to draw attention to some of the Vegas shows. Farrah and Kimora both run shows that are very entertaining (and other super adjectives!) Toss Farrah Moan a dollar if you’re ever in the area – she wants to fund her own senior trip!
Hocus Pocus (1993).
4. Just The Fashion Tips (Season 9 Episode 6)
It makes sense that Farrah Moan impersonated a West Coast YouTuber this week because she had such a delayed reaction to the Alexis drama. If you remember one week earlier, Farrah was way too nice to Alexis during her outburst – I’m surprised that she didn’t start chucking makeup products at Liza during Snatch Game!
Anyway, after some general chitchat, the smokers went outside to let off some steam. It is there that Farrah finally shades Alexis, the so called “fashion expert.” After loaning Peppermint a pink skirt that got read, Alexis later gave away some jewelry. Poor Pepp, every piece of fashion advice she’s received has been ill-advised.
Alexis Michelle reminds me very much of a legendary myth. King Midelle was so desperate to win a challenge that she wished for the ability of a golden touch. Sadly, it had dire consequences; everything that she lay hand on turned into an ugly pink skirt.
Sidenote: since we’re talking about the other girls getting annoyed by Alexis, may I remind you that she says “thank you 5!” every. Single. Untucked. She’s that theater kid, I knew she was.
4. D.O.A. M.T.A. (Season 9 Episode 5)
It’s pretty fortunate that Alexis Michelle knows the New York crimestopper mantra because plenty of girls bombed the challenge this week.
What makes this scene so funny, like many others this week, is Alexis’ brazen approach. She calls all the girls to the main hub and announces that she has something to say :
RuPaul’s Best Friend Race has fucked up drag she expected someone to critique her fashion choices after helping out the other girls.
While Alexis is going on her tirade, she cites that it is the other queens’ responsibility to save her from being read. Alexis moans that her dress might keep her from winning…and then the camera pans to Farrah.
The Long-Suffering Farrah Moan
You see, Farrah has much bigger problems. Alexis is complaining about not winning and Farrah wants to possibly save herself from elimination. Alexis is throwing a hissy fit about her maid and Farrah is trying to not get evicted. Alexis wants to be Linda Evangelista and have a beautiful smile while Farrah is just happy to be there.
But then the worst part happens. While Alexis is crying about her mansion being too dusty, Farrah says that she would like to leave. And then Alexis says “I’m not done.” Farrah is a much bigger person than I – if Alexis prevented me from practicing my lipsync song, I would quickly turn my head and blind her with my highlighter.
Luckily this story does have a good ending. Eureka raises her hand to speak (talk about character developement!) and Farrah sprints out of there (probably to tell her best friend that she’s pregnant with her brother’s child).
This was always my favorite scene in Bambi…
5. La Rosa de Guadalupe (Season 9 Episode 5)
Eres perfecta, eres bella, eres un modelo, miras como Linda Evangelista…
I haven’t seen something this extra in a long time, and that’s saying something since this scene comes from the same episode where Cynthia mourns a futon. There’s something about the way Valentina addresses the situation that is so telenovela villain-esque.
Fortunately, this episode is full of moments that are funny due to the dichotomy of the two people in the scene. I never thought I would use the term ‘straight man’ when discussing RuPaul’s Drag Race but a lot of this week’s comedy involves a fun back-and-forths between two different emotional states.
Sadly, images don’t really do justice to Farrah’s sobbing while Valentina gives the opening scene of Mi Cucú Es Tuyo. Perhaps this Farrah is actually her secret evil twin and the real one is trapped in a dark room with nothing but a Clapper™.
P.S. This episode really makes me appreciate my Puerto Rican mother because the traits she passed down to me really show here. This scene shows my love for telenovelas and the mini-challenge shows my love for beautiful men. Thanks Ma!
Farrah + THIS Wig
What would you say to little Cameron?
Current mood: Farrah casually modeling for the Untucked cameras
PSA: that emo kid whose image was used to catfish everyone back in like 2008 is none other than Farrah Moan #AfterlivesOfTheMyspaceFamous
2. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Face, Face (Season 9 Episode 1)
For as long as this preview episode was, we didn’t get much of an introduction to the thirteen new queens competing this season. As the girls enter the room, great shade is thrown and the queens are generally having a nice ol’ kiki.
Oh the overall cast, it seems like three queens are really taken the piss on (not literally. you can stop reading now, Trump). I would recite some of the shade thrown at Jaymes Mansfield’s puppet entrance, but I think that would be classified as child abuse.
Instead, let’s focus on Sasha Velour and Farrah Moan. I will say that I immediately love Farrah’s enthusiasm. As soon as she spots her Vegas sister Kimora Blac, she immediately pours out heaps of love. Farrah wouldn’t be surprised to see “Kimora’s ass on a T-shirt” and I’m always one to make a twink’s dreams come true…
Charlie Hides, however, is always quick to throw shade at the previous generation.
Things Older Than Farrah Moan
Charlie comments about Farrah’s youth and exclaims that she’s been proudly been doing drag for twenty years. How does Charlie expect the new queens to get jobs when she hasn’t retired yet? Typical
Gen Xer Baby Boomer old person.
The other queen under scrutiny is Sasha Velour. From the moment she enters the room, Sasha declares herself “a brainy queen”. Leaving the New York public education system with any knowledge is commendable, so this is quite a large accomplishment for Sasha to boast about.
In fact, most of her screentime this episode is dedicated to showing how much of an intellectual she is:
Let’s see how well that schooling comes in handy for the duration of this competition – the library is open and all the Sylvia Plath has been checked out!